Author Archives: libs012

There’s No Day Like Today

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I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions. I stopped making them several years ago when I realized that every time I went to make a resolution, I was really starting out a new year by picking out all the things I felt were wrong with myself that I wanted to fix. Now, instead, each year, I try to reflect on the lessons I learned that I hope to carry with me for the year to come. What are your favorite life lessons from 2013?

Here are my top 10 (in no particular order):


1. There’s no day like today (especially if you don’t know what day it is)

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Too often we hold back on some of the activities or events or outings we’d truly like to invest time and money in and replace our wants and desires with excuses. We say “someday” but many times know that very well “someday” will become “maybe later” or “maybe next life.” I’ a firm believer that it’s never too early and
RIGHT NOW it’s not too late to take the leaps  you’ve always wanted to take,
to say the yeses you’ve always wanted to say,
or to make that “someday” that you’ve been putting off, TODAY.
The Hobby Hoarder  (Forthcoming book)

2. Find comfort in the discomfort—It’s okay to be vulnerable.

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When giving something new a shot comes to sports or activities that require practice, the activity asks us to let others be better—to let others teach us. The activity asks us to be a little flawed, a little unbalanced, a little left of center. The activity asks us to respect not being perfect at everything. The task at hand asks us to breathe in deeply and exhale completely knowing that the person standing in front of us may have the opportunity to watch us do something we may rarely let ourselves see us do—and that is possibly fail. It’s okay—we don’t have to be perfect at everything we do and we’ll seem more human later for not being so perfect either.
The Hobby Hoarder

3. The world as we know it is a remarkable place
– Jason Mraz

montana

Going out and finding beauty isn’t difficult, but letting ourselves sit and enjoy and embrace beauty is. Go for a walk. Take a deep breath. Take a photo—but remember to look beyond the lens. Remember, before our apartments or our cities—this world is our home. It’s nice to just sit and breathe the whole world in once in a while.
 Beneath, Above & Beyond

  4. Spend less time on the big picture and more time on the small stuff:

The big picture is important—it’s huge, but we can’t forget about the small things—the things we can work on each day—the things that make the big picture more of a reality. Big pictures are scary—terrifying. It’s kind of like a blizzard. Blizzards are BIG—HUGE—TERRIFYING. But what is a blizzard? A lot of small snowflakes together. And a snowflake alone is quite beautiful. Take some extra time to focus on the small things—the beautiful –though sometimes difficult—things at hand-the tasks that coat our daily lives and become the small nails that hold the big picture together later. Take some extra time today to focus on the journey of reaching your goals—not just the final destination.
– The Hobby Hoarder

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5. Respect sadness. In fact, embrace it.

Sadness comes in an assortment of shapes and sizes—and for a variety of different reasons. But if you’re feeling sadness as the result of having had the opportunity to feel a great wealth of happiness for an extended period of time, take a moment to breathe in what you’re really feeling.  After returning from the road trip in March, I felt an overwhelming abundance of sadness, but I had to take a moment to remind myself that the sadness came from days of joy. I had to remind myself that the sadness I felt was because of a world I had let myself see, the chances I had let myself take, the obstacles I had let myself face, the fears that I had let myself overcome—the challenges I had let myself defeat—the life I had let myself live. I had to remind myself how lucky I was to look back on the moments I lived—with tear drops in my eyes and joy in my heart. I had to learn to respect sadness.
Landings

6. Serendipity

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You can take off anytime you want–and an accidental blessing will be there to catch you when you fall.

7. Every choice you make—is the right choice. OH AND smash your rearview mirror (metaphorically speaking).

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The truth is every choice you make is the right choice. That’s right. Every single choice (except killing or hurting someone purposely) is the right one. Really, think about it this way. Each choice is just a different path—with different scenery all leading to the same destinations. If you have a gust instinct, follow it. Stop asking for directions or a map on what to do next. No one else holds the map you need. We’ve got a great compass right there within us. So stop worrying about the right choice and just start feeling what feels right—for right now. Oh—and smash the rearview mirror, you don’t have to worry about the other options that are already behind you. You’re already on your way.
– The Hobby Hoarder

8. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.
-Wayne Gretzky

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You can’t sleep on your talents, your dreams, your aspirations or your opportunities. The biggest mistake you can make when it comes down to giving yourself a chance, going on stage and performing, trying something new or going to an audition is physically not being there.
You Can’t Sleep on Your Talents

9. Embrace the climb.

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There are a lot of hurdles to jump, obstacles to dodge, and mountains to climb when pursuing a goal or a dream—but after the hurdles, the obstacles, and the mountains, there’s always the view. So embrace the struggle of the climb. Because the struggle is what makes you stronger—the struggle is what makes you smarter, the struggle is what makes the view when you reach the top that much more worth it. And when you get to the top, set your worries aside about what your next hurdle, obstacle or mountain may be and give yourself a chance to breathe in this view—this present moment. Respect the work you put in—the dedication—the determination—the discipline—the perseverance and remember to applaud yourself .You earned it.
– The Hobby Hoarder

10. Believe in the possible.

Find your passion and run with it—Don’t look back. Thank the people who call you crazy – because anyone who’s crazy enough to pursue their dreams is strong enough to achieve them too.
– The Hobby Hoarder

IMG_8482Photo taken by David Tierney Lerner

Subway Caroling

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We are a week away from Christmas so I thought I would spread good holiday cheer by caroling on the subway platforms. Hope you smile 🙂

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11 Hobbies to Try this Winter

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 Brrrr: The days are shorter and the temperature is dropping—but that shouldn’t stop you from having as much fun as possible this winter. Here are eleven hobbies to keep you active and excited all winter long!

Dog Sledding

Bobsledding

Skiing/Snowboarding 

skiing

Snowmobiling

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Snow Graffiti
This one gives marking your territory a new name!
Just take a spray bottle, fill it up with water that’s tinted with food coloring and call it a day!
(just avoid using the color yellow 😉 )

Snow Kiting

 

Snow Shoeing

snow shoeing

Snow Tubing

Not into skiing or boarding? That’s okay, this Winter hit the slopes in an inflated tube–fun for everyone 🙂

Ice Skating

Curling


Polar Bear Swim

“What are you waiting for?”

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Two years ago, I sat in front of my computer enthralled in a TED Talk by Matt Cutts on “trying something new for 30 days.”

During the talk, he discussed how he rode his bike to work for thirty days in a row. He then challenged his audience to find their own 30 day challenge, something that was realistic and achievable.

He posed the question, during the challenge, “What are you waiting for?”

I pondered his question. And also asked myself one more question, “What can I do for thirty days?”

I shrugged my shoulders. Then I spotted a blank piece of paper with a pencil sitting on top of it. And then I drew a picture. In that moment, I committed to a 30-day challenge where I intended (and did!) draw one new picture each day for thirty days.

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 If I said that this TED Talk didn’t have something to do with The Hobby Hoarder Quest I’d set out on only five months after watching Cutts speak for the first time, I’d be lying.

This TED Talk re-opened my eyes to the possibility of changing my life through setting my own realistic and achievable goals. For a while, I had stopped doing that—had stopped trying new things—had stopped feeling motivated—had stopped challenging myself.

 Over the years, I have accumulated a TED Talk collection in my web browser history that I continually go back to when I’m searching for a spark of inspiration.

If you aren’t sure what TED is—it’s a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. TED believes “passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimate the world.” So they’ve “Built a clearinghouse of free knowledge from the world’s most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other.” (Ted.com)

Today, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite inspiring TED Talks in hopes you’ll feel a spark of inspiration as well.

All of the talks listed below and more can be found at www.ted.com

What are you waiting for? Starting watching! (Oh and please, if you have a favorite TED Talk—share it in the comments—I’m always curious to see what other people are watching J  )

1. Matt Cutts: Try something new for 30 days

 “So here’s my question to you: What are you waiting for? I guarantee you the next 30 days are going to pass whether you like it or not, so why not think about something you have always wanted to try and give it a shot for the next 30 days.”

 2. Aimee Mullins: The Opportunity for Adversity –

“There is adversity and challenge in life, and it’s all very real and relative to every single person, but the question isn’t whether or not you’re going to meet adversity, but how you’re going to meet it.”

 

 3. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnarability

“We must believe we are enough: “Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”


4. Elizabeth Gilbert: Your Elusive Creative Genius

“Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to be able to top that? Aren’t you afraid you’re going to keep writing for your whole life and you’re never again going to create a book that anybody in the world cares about at all, ever again?”

5. Ric Elias: The 3 Things I learned While My Plane Crashed”

“Brace for impact. // I challenge you guys that are flying today, imagine the same thing happens on your plane — and please don’t — but imagine, and how would you change? What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?”

6. Richard St. John: Success is a Continuous Journey “When we stop trying—we fail”

“I learned that success isn’t a one-way street. It doesn’t look like this; it really looks more like this. It’s a continuous journey. And if we want to avoid “success-to-failure-syndrome,” we just keep following these eight principles, because that is not only how we achieve success, it’s how we sustain it. So here is to your continued success.”

 7.  Ron Gutman: The Hidden Power of Smiling

“The good news is that we’re actually born smiling. // Smiling is one of the most basic, biologically-uniform expressions of all humans.”

8. Larry Smith: Why You Will Fail to have a Great Career

“You’re afraid to pursue your passion. You’re afraid to look ridiculous. You’re afraid to try. You’re afraid you may fail. Great friend, great spouse, great parent, great career. Is that not a package? Is that not who you are? How can you be one without the other? But you’re afraid.

And that’s why you’re not going to have a great career, unless — unless, that most evocative of all English words — unless. But the unless word is also attached to that other, most terrifying phrase, “If only I had … ” “If only I had … ” If you ever have that thought ricocheting in your brain, it will hurt a lot.

So, those are the many reasons why you are going to fail to have a great career, unless … unless.”

 
9. Caroline Casey: Looking Past Limits

Do you know how much of us all pretend to be somebody we’re not? And you know what, when you really believe in yourself and everything about you, it’s extraordinary what happens // We are extraordinary, different, wonderful people.”

 10. Steve Jobs: How to Live Before You Die

I’m cheating here—cause it’s not technically a TED Talk, but the first time I ever saw it—was when I was carusing the TED website—so I’m counting it:

 “You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something–your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever–because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.”

Giving Thanks

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Thanksgiving is just two days away! It’s time to brace yourself for the holiday traffic, prepare the turkey, set the table for 12, and start writing those wish lists. But it is also time to share what you’ve been most grateful for this last year… and perhaps indulge in some pumpkin pie.

Sharing our gratitude doesn’t have to be–and shouldn’t be–an event that is confined to forced conversation over turkey once a year. Showing gratitude is something that we should continuously practice day in and day out. Gratitude is a hobby that travels far beyond the remnants of the turkey coma after your Thanksgiving feast.

So rather than share ten hobbies that might be fun to try this Thanksgiving, I’ve decided to share ten ways to “cultivate the habit of being grateful” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)–not just on Thanksgiving but in all the days that follow.

1. Go outside and breathe the fresh air. Not everyone is lucky enough to have clean lungs or the ability to walk outside on two feet. Show your thanks for both by taking a step outside and really taking the time to breathe—inhale, exhale.

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2. Say thanks for the little things—If your loved one made the bed this morning, text him thank you in the afternoon with a little smiley face. If your friend or roommate did your dishes—especially if it happens regularly: say thanks. It’s the little things that sometimes mean the most.

3. Write thank you notes. Write them to everyone: to good friends, mentors, acquaintances, people you’ve lost touch with.. Be sure to let people know that even if they were in your life only briefly, their impact has mattered.

4. Pay it forward. Drop a couple coins in a parking meter that is about to expire; pay the toll for the car behind you on the highway; cover the coffee for the next person on line next to you in café. By doing this we can start something pretty amazing: A chain of gratitude—or something as amazing as a kindness boomerang:

 

5. Go out of your way for people for the heck of it. Similar to paying it forward: Offer to clean out someone’s closet, mow their lawn, or rake their leaves without an alternative motive.

6. Start a gratitude journal: Write down 5-10 things you are grateful for or 5-10 things that make you happy each day—or each week. Maybe 10 isn’t enough. Try 20. Once you start writing down what your grateful for/what makes you happy—you find out there’s a lot out there that goes beyond the surface. In 2010, my good friend Hannah challenged me to come up with 30 things that I was grateful for/that made me happy. I ended up making an entire day out of it in Rome:

7. Give thanks to the negative aspects of life—not just the positive. Remember, it’s easy to say thank you when all things are going right. But it’s just as important to say thank you when things aren’t going right, or when you’re stumbling, or when life puts up hurdles on the race track. It is in the moments of struggle that we build strength, and in the moments of adversity that we build character. We cannot be grateful for the happy moments without being grateful for the difficult moments as well. Make sure in that gratitude journal you share the negative things you are grateful for too.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

8. Write it in Stone. Okay I don’t mean deface property. But perhaps take a piece of sidewalk chalk and put just how grateful you are right there for everyone to see. Last winter, my goal was to spread happiness by chalking the word happiness into all five boroughs on one of the coldest days of the year. Why not take the time to chalk thank you as well? My good friend, travel mate, and editor Kim did just that in Raleigh, NC:

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9. Try something new. I clearly can’t preach this enough (ha). But remember (as with #1), not everyone has the chance each and every day to walk outside and breathe the air, to make use of the legs they’ve been given, the arms, the hands—the heart. Some people are born without legs and ski mountains, some people are given one arm and discover how to climb Everest. And some of us are given two legs, two feet, two arms, and two hands—and we often forget to believe in ourselves with our one and only heart. Show your gratitude for what you’ve been given, by using it. I don’t mean flaunt it—just use it.

10. Give yourself a day. Give yourself a day to just be. Don’t schedule a single thing. It’s your day. You’ve earned it. I mean this. As important as it is to show gratitude for the air you breathe, the people you spend time with, the roof over your head, and the health you’ve been blessed with—it’s equally as important that you show gratitude towards yourself—for the hard work you’ve put toward the happy, healthy, filled life you are living. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s next–To forget to embrace the moment. But embrace the moment—be grateful for the moment. Be grateful for yourself.

You Can’t Sleep on Your Talents

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It’s not every day that you have the opportunity to audition for a TV Talent show, so when I discovered that America’s Got Talent would  be holding auditions on the west side of Manhattan, I knew that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to head to the audition and at least give myself a shot. So on Saturday night and Sunday morning, I prepared 90 seconds of stand up comedy material,  set my alarm for 6:30am, woke up, signed my electronic release and made my way over to the Mercedes complex where 90 people were already in front of me. I could FEEL positive energy swirling everywhere. People were singing, taking photos with impersonators, doing magic tricks, playing their guitars and chatting amongst one another about the day ahead. I sipped calmly on my coffee and struck up a conversation with a couple of people standing around me. We went back and forth quizzing each other on what one our talents were and how we thought we’d do. Then someone who was auditioning asked me why I love stand up comedy. And I said that’s easy:

“I love stand up comedy because I just really enjoy having the opportunity to bring joy to the lives of others. If I can make other people laugh, then I’ve had a good–no–great day.”

The person smiled at me and we continued chatting a bit before the line was eventually released to check-in.

Due to a confidentiality clause in the paperwork that I signed, THAT’s about all I can share with you about the audition process–that and of course the fact that 

On Sunday, November 17, I auditioned for America’s Got Talent.

Libs

So rather than detail what happened after I got through the registration line, I thought I’d share SIX positive life lessons I took away from auditioning for a TV Talent Show.

1. Show up.
You can’t sleep on your talents, your dreams, your aspirations or your opportunities. The biggest mistake you can make when it comes down to giving yourself a shot, going on stage and performing, trying something new or going to an audition is physically not being there.  AND no matter the way the performance went, audition or first time trying something went–OR no matter the way you think the performance, audition, or activity went, be proud of yourself for giving it a shot, for maybe stepping out of your comfort zone–but especially for just stepping out of bed to get wherever you are going. Because let’s be honest, getting out of bed to be somewhere can often be the hardest part. 

WoodyBetter

2. Cockiness vs Confidence vs Positive Thinking
Cockiness is bad.
Confidence is good.
And Positive Thinking is better.
And there is absolutely a difference between having confidence and staying positive. Positivity will attract other positive people to you. If you stay bright and you keep a smile on your face–other positive people will flock to you. Trust me, you don’t want to be waiting for an audition (for anything) with an orb of negative energies surrounding you the entire time.

3. Passionate people are just more interesting.
Having passion is more interesting than having experience. Being a passionate person about life and the joys of your hobby or your talent is much more interesting that simply a resume of experiences. You can have a lot of experience in something, but if if you don’t come off as interested and passionate about your craft–then it just won’t matter. Through auditioning for the show I had the opportunity to meet a mix of both experienced and passionate people. I got bored very quickly with people just rattling off their resume of comedy clubs they’ve performed at, but felt very enthralled in the conversations where people spoke with an excitement–a drive–a passion.

The experienced people might get jobs or interviews–but the passionate ones change the world.

4. Be the best you that you can be.
Whether it’s five people you are up against or 1 million people you are up against whether it be in an audition or for a job opportunity–the ONLY thing that matters in the audition room or in the application process is how you do–not them. You can’t control how someone else will perform under pressure. You can ONLY be the best version of yourself when it’s time to step up to the plate.

5. Know yourself better than anyone else.
At the audition, after someone overheard me say I did comedy, he asked if I could do any impressions. I said I can do one impression pretty perfectly–myself. The more I’ve thought about that statement, the more meaning it has taken on. Be sure that before you try to do the impression of someone else in order to impress others–that you know one person better than anyone else in this world–and so that if anyone asks you who you can act most like–you can be honest and proud to say the best impression you can do–and the person you know better than anyone in this world is…yourself.

6. Let others inspire you.
Share your stories and your talents with others–and also let others share their stories and talents with you.
You never know–Someone might just inspire you.

 

Hobbies While on the Mend

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Recently, I unexpectedly had surgery on my toe, which left me unable to physically run, dance, bike etc. Having to hobby without my foot seemed daunting at first, but then I turned to more calm, relaxing activities—activities that I didn’t need my foot for. Are you nursing an injury? Below, find seven hobbies to try while you’re on the mend!

1. Knitting – If you’ve injured a part of your lower body, cross-stitch a new pair of socks for when you’re back on your feet!

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2. Painting/Drawing/Calligraphy –If your strong hand has been left unharmed, express yourself! All this requires is a canvas, piece of paper, or object that you can physically use paints, crayons, markers, pencils, etc  to create your vision on! And if your strong hand is injured—you could always try painting with your toes! What are you waiting for?

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3. Ceramics/Pottery –Instead of moping and complaining about the cast that’s been molded to your foot or leg, use your hands to mold together your own original piece, pot, or bowl!

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4.  Chess or other Brain Games – While you’re off your feet, stay on your toes by challenging your mind. Take on a friend in a game of chess, keep yourself occupied with a rubrix cube, or hit the Sudoku books! Even better, create your own crossword puzzle and then get your friends to test it out!

5. Ventriloquism and Puppeteering – Ever dreamed of creating the next big Muppet? While your one foot’s elevated in a boot, make use of your unworn socks and make your own puppet—or dummie! Then bring the inanimate object to life, by giving it a voice of it’s own.

5. Musical Instruments — While your arms are out of commission, stomp out a beat with a foot drum!

6. Meditation – While your body takes time to heal, find time to re-connect with your mind and soul.

7. Skip-It! – If your arm is tied up in a sling, hit the pavement with this 90’s gem. “Skip-it; Skip-it; skipping and screaming and a bop-di-bop.”

Pon De FLO DVD

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Pon De FLO DVD

A lot of people ask me if there are any hobbies I have stuck with since starting The Hobby Hoarder. The answer is yes and I am proud to say that one of the hobbies I have kept up with is a Caribbean Reggae dance-based fitness class called Pon De FLO. I’ve noted this before, throughout the blog, but I’ll say it again: I didn’t go to group dance classes for years because I never felt comfortable–I never felt at ease–I never felt like I could do it. That all changed with Pon De FLO.

Many of the dance classes I tried throughout the hobby year were stepping stones in getting comfortable with being in a group dance class. But Pon De FLO quickly became more than a stepping stone–it became a ROCK–Just like the way good friends help us find balance and stability in our lives, Pon De FLO did the same for me–and continues to do the same for me.

I recently wrote about how The Hobby Year helped me to find balance in a world that I constantly felt held down in. This class has played a significant role in finding that balance and in surrounding myself with positive people who continue to help me find that balance. And to be honest, FLO has become more than a once in a while class for me–it’s become a routine, a habit–my go to. I’ve even started scheduling a lot of my hobby nights around the Pon De FLO schedule.

This isn’t your average dance class. The non-verbal cued choreography forces you to build endurance, stamina and strength through 60 or 90 minutes of high energy cardio that includes an abundance of burpees, pushups, sit-ups and squats. Additionally, the class challenges you to escape from everything that’s bothering you, from a day that came with more stress than you expected, and from the negative aspects of life that are just holding you down. FLO asks you to step up, look at yourself in the mirror, connect with yourself, and disappear into dance–to let it all go and for a brief time–just FLO.

 There are only two rules in FLO–just stop thinking–and just keeping dancing.

Beyond the workout, Pon De FLO is a community of positive passionate individuals who WANT to be in class– who love the burn they feel after a burpee song, and crave for the feeling the way their body sizzles after an intense set of pushups. And when the burpees, the pushups, the sit-ups, the squats, and the booty shaking is done, those positive, passionate individuals carry on their friendships with one another outside the studio classrooms.

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Because of the upbeat community of friends I have made through the class, the kick ass work outs, and the positive energy and passion for the dance class fueled by founder Heather Fay, I have found myself absolutely addicted to a group fitness based dance class.

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 Currently, Pon De FLO is based in New York City, but it is the hope and goal of their team to begin expanding the niche dance class nationally and globally.

This past week, the team launched their Kickstarter to fund a professional fitness based DVD so that people all over can do Pon De FLO from the comfort of their own home.

If you have a dollar or ten to spare, I hope you’ll consider donating to the cause–and if not, I hope you’ll spread the word.

AND lastly, if you are in the New York City area, I definitely recommend taking a class.
I’ll even treat you.

 

Pon De FLO might just change your life–I know it has definitely changed mine.

Budgeting Happiness

money Credit: Images of Money


I have a confession. I like to spend money.

I like to treat myself to a coffee each morning from a local café or coffee shop because it kick starts my day. I like to take the East River Ferry every once in a while because the fresh crisp air in the morning sets my spirits higher than they would be if I was crunched into an overly packed subway cart. And I like to try new— sometimes-expensive activities—because trying new things brings a sense of balance to my life.

Okay, you got me. I don’t like to spend money. I love to spend money. But I didn’t always love spending. I’ve definitely spent money a lot, but I used to look at my bank account the day after a purchase—or the morning after a night at the bar—and regret my monetary choices. I used to HATE spending money, because many times spending money wasn’t bringing me happiness or joy.

Spending money is kind of like dieting. The more you tell yourself to eat less, the more time you spend thinking about food. The more you focus on how you should really spend less, the more you want to shell out the dough.

I’m not here to tell you to spend less. How much you spend is up to you. But I do want to talk about how you feel when you spend money – because this is up to you too. Take a moment to think about what you bought in the last week: Maybe it’s a new shirt, maybe it’s a movie ticket, maybe it’s lunch—I don’t know what it is. But take a moment to think about whatever it is that you bought and ask yourself these questions: “How did I feel after I made that purchase? Did that purchase bring me happiness—or regret for spending money?”

We’ve all heard the adage, “money can’t buy happiness.” I only partly agree with this. I don’t think happiness has a price tag, but I do believe that the ways we spend money and what we spend our money on contribute to our overall happiness.

One of the questions I have been asked most often throughout the hobby year has been: “How do you afford all the hobbies?”

Which really leads to a bigger question:

“How can we afford the happy and balanced life that we are seeking?”

For each of us there are certain expenses each month that we just can’t avoid:
In my case it’s rent, utilities, food, and a monthly train ticket. For others it might be a mortgage on the house, car insurance, and dependents.

The aforementioned are necessary expenses.

BUT much like cleaning out our closets from the clothes that we no longer want to wear, we can clean out the unnecessary expenses on our bank statements—the activities or outings or items that aren’t truly extending our happiness—that aren’t satisfying the lifestyle we are hoping to live.

When I moved to NYC in January of 2010, I very quickly realized how easily I could blow $50-$60 in just one night by going to an amateur comedy night on the Upper East Side. With a two-drink minimum as standard, a handful of bills could disappear at dinner alone. And the next morning? I hated myself for spending that money. But why?

As the money in my wallet began to dwindle, I had an epiphany, I realized that the glass of wine or the shot of Bacardi wasn’t satisfying me—that I was wasting money on something I didn’t ACTUALLY enjoy putting into my body. So I stopped drinking. Within weeks, I began to see an incredible difference in my money saved vs. money spent.

Once I gave up alcohol, I began to realize that there were other expenses on my bank account that likely also weren’t satisfying me or bringing me happiness.

Rather than eating out at lunch each day, I began packing my lunch for work; rather than going out to eat for dinner often, I began to cook my own dinners; and rather than buying new workout clothes, I began bringing my old field hockey shirts from high school and college back to New York City with me.

I realized that many times I was going out to eat at lunch because of feelings of laziness in the morning before work. This would actually in turn cost me three-four times the amount of money it would cost me to brown bag it.

This realization was one that made me hate spending money.

So rather than spending money on things that in turn caused me to be upset, I began saving and spending money on activities and things that I felt were helping me to balance and embrace the life that I wanted to live.

I don’t intend to suggest everyone should give up alcoholic beverages, stop buying new clothes, ignore the latest movie releases, or turn the oven on every night—unless you are an amazing cook, in which case, please do turn your oven on every night (and invite me over)!

I also don’t want to suggest that you should stand in front of an item at the store and do a cost/benefit analysis every time you are going to make a purchase.

What I am suggesting is that recognizing patterns in the types of spending that bring you happiness—and the types of things you regret spending money on in the minutes, hours, or days after you make a transaction—can help you to refocus your energy on achieving goals you’re not quite sure how to reach otherwise. The items I listed above just happen to be a few of the sacrifices I’ve been able to make for myself.

I became incredibly passionate about trying new hobbies this past year because of the joy each new hobby brought me , and because of the lessons each new hobby taught me. And because I recognized how much I was benefiting on a personal level and a physical level from each of the new things, I realized just how important it was that I budget, save, and sacrifice to contribute to the happiness I was seeking. If I’m going to spend money, I want to LOVE to spend money—and I want to love what I’m spending on.

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If there’s something you are looking to try, a class you’d really like to take, a trip you are looking to go on, try to start here:

Make a list of what you are spending your money on—then go over that list and eliminate just one thing that isn’t contributing to your health, your happiness, or your balance. Then use this money to help you achieve your goal.

Who knows? You might just fall in love with spending money, too.

Five other ways to save money:

Piggy Bank
 Credit: 401 (k) 2013

1. Invest in a piggy bank—Really. Every time you find coins—save them. Those pennies add up.

2. Look out for deals. If there’s a fitness class you’ve been looking for, a getaway you’re not sure you can afford, or a class you’re looking to take, see if Groupon, Living Social, Zozi, or Yipit has it.

3. Go through your closet and donate the clothes you no longer want to a registered charity. When you make charitable donations, you can receive tax deductions. You may not see the benefit of this immediately, but next tax season you’ll have something to smile about.

4. Piggy Backing on #3: For the holidays, see if you and your family would be willing to go in on a deal to donate the money or you would have spent on gifts or a capped amount of money to a registered charity. This way you’re doing good and receiving a tax deduction in the future.

5. Each week, or even each day, set aside 5-10 dollars. At the end of the month you’ll have your own personal pay check!